Suppressed emotions create truly vivid dreams

I’ve been contemplating the last year or so where my emotions seem to be threatening to spill out without the normal control I’ve fought so hard to retain over my lifetime. I find myself getting emotional over the smallest things. For the most part this only results in my eyes filling with tears and one […]

Emotional Paralysis

  It’s been quite a while since I wrote here. Once again, I failed at continuing something that is probably beneficial to me. What’s new, right?  I’ve thought about this post for weeks, trying to push it aside. It just kept coming back to me like a damn fly buzzing in your ear that you […]

Tell your heart to beat again

    I recently heard this song while driving and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Music tends to do that to me. It reaches places that I prefer to lock away. From the first words I was hooked. As it began, it pained me. Then it encouraged me. And finally it filled me […]

Sleep is not an escape

        I’m not the most normal guy you’ll meet. Just ask my wife. My son who has Autism gladly blames me for giving it to him. It is a running joke. They claim I am “inappropriate” at times because I occasionally don’t have a filter when it comes to polite conversation. I […]

What is forgiveness?

Forgive our Fathers   My dad died on March 28, 2005. Followed shortly thereafter by his Father in September and his Mother In November. It was a difficult year. I guess, for me, it was a transformative year. It was like the band-aid that I had worn for most of my life was torn off. […]

Learning to deceive

  Perhaps the thing I resent and hate the most from my childhood years was constantly being put in the position of deceiving as a means of protecting others from pain. I was a very bright child, in fact until fourth grade, the model child. Courteous, helpful, great grades, and teachers pet. Things at home started […]